Giving and Getting Attitude from Your Partner

Giving and Getting Attitude from Your Partner

It’s really easy to get frustrated with the stress that comes at you in life. Sometimes it is stress from inside the relationship. Other times it can come from external things like job, money, other relationship, etc.

It is very natural to be more sensitive to things when you are in a state of heightened stress. You will tend to become more pessimistic, defensive, and short tempered. It becomes more likely that you might be upset by something that your partner does, that may not upset you otherwise.

It’s important to be aware of this when you are feeling stress. You want to work hard to avoid unnecessary conflict in your relationship due to stress that is not related. You will need to be honest with yourself when you are in a stressed state. Know that when you are like this that you will be apt to anger of become emotional more quickly. Resist the temptation to “snap.” Avoid reacting based on the initial feeling of emotion. If you take even a few seconds to let the emotion settle, you will be very much less likely to over-react. Don’t be a complete lunatic. I’m not encouraging you to be a tool either. If you take the time to breathe and consider your reaction with a cool head and you are still upset, then you may be justified in reacting strongly.

From the other side of the equation, the same consideration applies. If you know that your partner is under additional stress, try to be patient. Try to give them a chance to think twice if they are reacting emotionally to something. Try to be understanding. Listen to what they are upset about and consider how you would feel in their shoes. I know it sounds cliché. I know that it’s easier said then done.

The key here is if you are both making an effort and get half way there, you will meet in the middle. The idea is to work together and make every effort to avoid conflict when possible. There will inevitably be conflict in any serious relationship. Do what you can to avoid the conflicts that you can avoid. You will be surprised how much conflict you can avoid with a little communication and understanding.

I know this was a little sappier then usual. I’m a bit of a relationship pacifist at heart. The old “make love not war.”