Just Say "No" To Men

No. Say it with me. Seriously, say it out loud. No.
It seems that many of you ladies out there are having a hard time puckering your lips up and uttering those two letters in succession. If you want to get what you want from men, and what you want in your relationships, you must learn to use this word. It's not a bad life rule either.
So many women allow themselves to be taken advantage of when a simple "no" would keep you going the right direction. Men can be very childish at times. Very often, during the early stages of dating, we push to see what we can get away with. It's an ego thing. Every man has bragged, or heard a friend brag, about the girl that would come whenever he called. In my younger and, more foolish, days I had a story like this. There was a girl that I met when she was 18. I was a few years older, and definitely more experienced. We started dating casually. Since I was older, and was showing her a few things she hadn't seen before, she was excited by me. It caused her to be anxious to see me, and that caused her to come when I called. At first, she would tell me "Don't worry about picking me up. I will get a ride over to you." I had a car, and she didn't. It wouldn't have been a big deal to go and get her, but since she offered, I just let her come over. After a few weeks, I was calling her at 2am after a night of drinking with the boys. Sure enough, she would find a way to get there. I didn't respect her. I didn't treat her as any more then what she was letting herself be. The sad thing is that I really did like her. I realized all this in retrospect. She was a sweet girl. She was giving, loyal, beautiful, and fun to be around. She was definitely the type of girl I could have been serious about. She was the kind of girl that I would have treated well and taken care of. It would have been completely different if she would have done one thing. If she would have told me "no" a few times, she would never have fell into the role that she fell into.
I am, by no means, justifying my actions. I was really slimy then. I took advantage of her and played the role of the man that I now help women to avoid. This is, however, a great example of something that YOU can do to affect the men you date. You can say "I should have to do this. A good man isn't going to act like you. I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that any, so why do I care about telling him no?" The idea is that men have a tendency to act this way early in the dating game if you let them. You will never get to find out if he is a good man, or the man you want if you can't get through that initial phase. Sure, there are men that will do the right thing anyway. I was a good example of the more likely scenario. I married the very next woman I dated. I was faithful, respectful, and a completely different man with her. The difference was that she had respect for herself, and she did tell me "no." She presented herself as something that was a treasure to be earned. It's likely that one or two of the jerks that you have dated will end up being a great husband for someone. I was one.
The bottom line is really about standing up for yourself. It's great thing to be a generous giving person. It can bite you in the ass in the early stages of the dating game. It comes down to knowing how you deserve to be treated. Respect yourself and others will respect you too. Place a high value on yourself, and others will place a high value on you too. You are the only commodity that you set the price wherever you see fit.
Say it again. No. It's easy. No.
"Come over. All the boys left, and I don't want to be alone." No.
"I know you said you don't like this, but I really like it. I really like you." No.
"I'm not really looking for something series, but I'd still like to spend some time with you here and there until I am." No.
"It doesn't feel as good when I wear one. Just this once?" No.

Visit me at www.cchristiandodd.com