One Step to Make Relationships Easier!

You are very often going to hear me talk about honesty.
Let’s lay down a general rule. You are always going to have far better results with the truth then with trying to fabricate a reality. I don’t care how slick you think you are, or how much luck you’ve had in the past with creative truths.
One lie creates more lies to make the first lie fit. When you start to stray from the truth in the context of a relationship, you start to build a house of cards. You may be able to get a layer of two to stand, but the farther you go in the relationship, the higher the stack of cards rises. It is inevitable that you will be forced with a situation in which your lies will double back on themselves and down will come your house of cards.


MEN
Women are willing to forgive your shortcomings for the positives that you have to offer. I’ve seen many a couple where a beautiful young intelligent woman is with a less then attractive man that doesn’t seem to have anything to offer. She forgives the beer belly because he considers her feelings before he speaks harshly to her. Women are much less shallow then we are. You can be a penniless guy with a questionable fashion sense, and they are capable of seeing past that to your strengths. I remember a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about her ex. She talked about how she had a hard time with the fact that he was shorter then her. She said that after a little bit, his height wasn’t an issue because he offered so many other things. Be truthful. Even if you think you may just be trying to get a girl in bed when you tell her you are a professional athlete, but you never know when you are going to find yourself seeing her as a potential for much more. Then what? Then, you’re basically screwed.

WOMEN
Although men are shallower and tend to be a little less forgiving of some of your shortcomings, the same rules apply. Be truthful! Your concern is to give a man the chance to love you for whom you are. If you try to portray yourself as someone that you aren’t, and he falls for you, then what? Will you keep up the façade forever? You are a unique and fantastic person for all of the pieces that combine to make you. You are the only you there is. You never know when the things that you see as odd and potentially undesirable will cause you to stand out in a good way. My best friend always found himself dating girls of a certain “type.” Then, he met a girl that didn’t fit that type at all. As she learned more about the girls that he use to date, she started to realize that they weren’t her. She could have chosen to try to change herself in small ways to be more like what she saw as desirable to him, but she didn’t. As the relationship progressed, my friend confided in me that the very things that were different about her made him love her. All of his relationships with his “type” had failed. He didn’t consciously realize it, but it caused him to enter relationships with a certain cynicism that contributed to there failure. Her differences changed that. He didn’t have the negative thoughts entering into the relationship. It caused him to get to know her for who she was and the fact she wasn’t his “type” not only didn’t matter, it ended up being a good thing. She stayed true to herself and was truthful with him, and it paid off big. They got married, by the way.

The bottom line is; you have to be honest with yourself and others about who you are, what you think, and what you like. Relationships that stand the test of time have to be built on feelings for each other that are real and based on who you really are. Respect yourself and be proud of who you are.

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