Keys to Long Term Compatibility

So, let’s say that you meet someone worthwhile and a relationship blossoms. Of course it’s great in the beginning. The puppy love stage is always great. The challenge is to make it last long term. There are a few things that I consider crucial keys to long term compatibility.
I don’t believe that you need to have all of these things in line. That just isn’t realistic. However, having most of them is going to be paramount in a lasting bond. Of course you should always look at the big picture. Here are a few of the big ones;
1. Religion and/or value structure. It’s going to be incredibly difficult to be with someone permanently if you don’t have similar views on things like honesty, family values, faith, integrity, treatment of others (including each other), etc. This is a big one in the raising of children. These are beliefs that run deep and are emotionally rooted. A person’s values are often one thing that is not eligible for compromise. You may want to be sure you are on the same page before an issue arises.
2. Financial style. This is a big one. 57% of divorces site finances as a reason for divorce. Similar ideas on saving, spending, and investing goes a long way. If you are a spender and your mate is a saver, it can cause distress. Look at your income level, financial goals, and spending patterns.
3. Emotional maturity and optimism/pessimism. Primarily your ability to deal with emotional issues and your views on life’s twists and turns. This also affects fighting style. Emotional immaturity can cause petty behavior when dealing with issues. For an emotionally mature person, that can be frustrating. Also, a negative outlook and propensity to act or speak pessimistically can wear quickly on a positive person. This also includes the ability to be supportive, being able to look at one’s own faults, and being able to be open minded to issues when views may differ.
4. Intelligence. Although two people don’t need to have the same I.Q., intelligence level is something to consider. If you are an intelligent person, and your mate is a dullard, what are you going to discuss in those inevitable times when all you have is conversation with each other? If you like physics, it’s going to be a strain that your dim witted mate doesn’t have a clue what you are talking about.
5. Sex. Sexual compatibility is important. Bad sexual chemistry can contribute to infidelity. Fidelity is enough of a challenge in a long term relationship without the added strain of not getting what you need sexually from your mate. Have the talk. Be honest and open about what you like, want, and need from sex. If you are strictly missionary and your mate is a sexual freak, then your mate is going to become bored and unfulfilled. You might begin to be disgusted by the “unusual” needs of your mate.
6. Lifestyle/hobbies. I see this as the least of this list. It is most likely that this one is something you might be inclined to change. However, look at the big picture. If your mate likes golf and you don’t, that probably isn’t a problem. However, if your mate is very social and feeds off of group activities while you are solitary and introverted, you are going to have a hard time enjoying each one another’s hobbies and each other at the same time. An extravert will have a hard time understanding an introvert and may see them as a “drag” or boring.

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