Why Heartbreak is a Good Thing

The title of this blog is a little misleading. It’s not so much about how heartbreak is a good thing as it is about being able to take the pain and turn it into a good thing. Heartbreak sucks. No one is going to argue that! Very little in life is as hard on us as the loss of love. That being said; let’s look at the positive spin.
Our experience in life is a result of our perspective. A child cries over spilled milk because it is a traumatic event by comparison to the limited experiences in its life. As we get older, it’s so unusual to do such a thing that it’s a common expression of absurdity. The same also goes for your ability to recognize and appreciate good things. The more experience you have, the better equipped you are to understand what’s happening around you. There is an expression that says “Success happens when opportunity meets preparation.” I think this applies to relationships. Relationship success happens when the right person comes along and you are prepared to recognize him.
So, how does heartache and relationship failure play a positive role in that process? With every failed relationship your vision gets clearer. When you take the time to reflect on failures, you can see clearly the events that led up to the failure. If you take the time to learn from those failures you are not likely to make the same mistakes. It also helps you to see the characteristics in your partner or yourself that fed the failure. Understanding those characteristics help you to avoid them in future partners. It will also allow you to strengthen and mature yourself. If you look back and decide that sleeping with him too soon lead to a lack of respect, which lead to poor treatment and infidelity, then you will wait longer next time.
I know this sounds a little like I am telling you that you are responsible for failed relationships. You may say, “I didn’t do anything wrong! He just cheated.” That certainly can be true. Take the time to be sure. If it is true then you still need to focus on yourself. You can’t do anything to make him better. You can’t do anything to change what happened. You CAN be sure to learn something from every adversity to better yourself. You should take time to consider if there is something you could do better to lessen the likelihood of meeting another cheater. Where did you meet him? What state of mind were you in? Did you compromise on something you weren’t certain about? Maybe you met him in a bar. Not that every man you meet in a bar is a cheater, but maybe it’s more likely to be true and you should consider a different path the next time. Switch things up and see if you get a fresh result.
In any case, there is certainly a benefit. All of the wrong relationships make you stronger and wiser and more prepared for when the right one comes along. Not only will you be more likely to see it, you will be more likely to capitalize on the opportunity and make the most of it!
I can tell you this from personal experience. I have found a relationship of a kind of quality and rarity that I wouldn’t have guessed existed. I recognize it and appreciate it thanks, in great part, to all of the failed relationships in my past. 10 years ago, I would have squandered this amazing opportunity to be truly happy.
Live and learn. Love and lose. Hurt and heal stronger. You may lose a few battles, but you will win the war. Trust me; it’s worth ever y ache and every pain. Bodybuilders grow muscles by damaging them. When you life weights, the muscles are damaged. The body heals the muscles and builds them bigger to stronger to compensate for the lifting demands. Over time, the muscles become strong and resilient. It’s the same for the heart muscle (symbolically anyway.) Relationship trials damage the heart, but it heals. It may feel very broken and weak at times, but in the end your heart will be bigger, stronger, and fuller.