Back and Forth: Does He Like Me or Not?

In one form or another, I often get questions about why it seems like men will love you one minute and not care the next. It generally comes in the form of a man not calling when he said that he would.
It’s pretty common for a man to seem so interested in you and then not. We will say sweet things, and treat you like a princess, then nothing. I have heard men say that they want to be together, have never meet someone like you, that you make them feel like no other woman has, and a ton of the like. Then, he seems to just forget to call. Sometimes, it even manifests itself as being stood up or ignored.
Here’s the short answer to every form of this issue. He isn’t as into you as you think or as he says. Period. Words are great, but actions speak louder. It’s not just a cliché saying, it’s the truth. If he says “I love you”, but acts like he doesn’t care. The actions are the truth. I know many of you don’t want to believe it, but men will lie to get what they want. It may be your attention, sex, or just to not be alone. In any case, start listening to what you feel and not what they say. Many of you have GOT TO stop being so gullible. Stop believing what men tell you and start figuring out what’s going on for yourself. No matter what nice things he says to you and how it makes you feel; do you want to be lied to? NO WAY!! Those nice things aren’t worth crap unless they are sincere. Do you want a man to say he loves you or to actually love you?
Look, I know that it’s hard to think that a man that makes you feel so great might be using you for his own needs. You don’t want to believe it, and most women don’t. You have got to start putting emotions aside long enough to look at the situation with a clear head. It’s always better to sacrifice something that feels great for something that feels great and is REAL! If you don’t know already, you need to learn to admit the tough truths in order to not waste your time with Mr. Wrong. Two things will happen. One, you will be stronger, wiser, better equipped, and more likely to build the foundation for a solid relationship when the right opportunity comes along. Two, you will be much less likely to be distracted by some random guy when the right man walks into your life. That would be a real tragedy!
Again, I speak on this from experience. Long ago, I dated a girl that was great. I enjoyed our time together and treated her great. She made me happy, so I often told her. The problem was, that I didn’t see us being together long term. She had some shortcomings that were deal breakers for me. On top of that, she was too young and I just wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship. I would call her based on convenience, and sometimes days would go by with no word from me. Then, I would call her sounding almost desperate to see her because I missed her so bad. (That’s what she must have thought anyway.) In my case, I really did like her. I just didn’t like her that much. Even when I knew that she assumed more then I actually felt, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want her to stand up for herself and leave, because I wanted to keep her around. I wanted to keep her around for my convenience, to not feel lonely, and for my ego. I grew out of that and wouldn’t do that now. Men generally aren’t as evolved in their relationship minds as women. It takes us time to grow out of it. It’s a very real part of being a man, and you’re a fool if you aren’t watching for this. Like in my case, then man may treat you completely right. I was never mean. I was even romantic and thoughtful, when I wanted to be. It’s a mean trick. It may be intentional or not. Men aren’t going to stop doing it, and you certainly can’t make them. So, look out.
Here’s the bottom line: If he is on again off again, he’s probably not as into you as you think he is.
Have a situation that you can’t figure out? Have specific questions on this subject? Write me. I guarantee I can help you continue to build yourself up and raise your value.
C. Christian