Bad Dating Luck? Pull a 180!

I have been hearing a lot of people tell me about their bad luck with the dating game.

I have a friend that seems to be great at attracting the players. The last few guys that she has been interested in have talked sweet to her, went after what they wanted, and then bailed at the first sign of something serious. We talked for awhile about what she felt was going on. She didn’t get why she was having such bad luck picking guys. She said they were all the same guy in that they all treated her poorly in the same ways. She questioned the odds of being able to consistently attract the “douche bags”, and that is must be some kind of personal shortcoming. I told her that I had noticed some other similarities between the men she was meeting. They were all about the same body type and the same style. I had seen them all wearing a hat tilted to the side, sleeveless sports jerseys, and tattoos. I asked where she was meeting them all. She said “Out.” She meant out at bars and night clubs.

I suggested that there is something to be said for certain types of people being in certain places. Also, those men of specific personality types are more likely to have certain styles and looks. In her case, guys she met at bars wearing jerseys and tilted hats were players. Don’t get me wrong, one does not always lead to the other. I’m sure there are plenty of men out there that look like players that are far from it. We are talking odds here. Some stereotypes exist because they have occurred often enough for lots of people to notice. We are playing odds here to increase your probability of having quality relationships with quality people.

So what is the answer? Try a 180. If you like blue collar guys, try a white collar one. If you like red heads, try to meet a blonde. If you meet new people in bars, go to church and try to meet someone. You get the idea. I get that you’re going to be attracted to certain things and you can’t always help what that is. I think there is no right or wrong with what you are attracted to. My suggestion is to break the habit and change your luck. I heard a definition of insanity that I love. It says “Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome then what you always got.” You never know when you will be attracted to something you never considered before. At the very least, it will give you some fresh perspective on the “type” that you have been sticking to.

You create your own fortune. We often become like a horse with blinders. We travel down the same path until it’s the only one we see. Force yourself to look around and get a fresh perspective. You’ll be amazing what you might realize.