The Final Straw/Breaking the Camel's Back

Here’s the vicious cycle. You get stressed, and pay a little less attention to her. So, she nags a little more because she is feeling neglected. (Women need a lot of emotional support and reassurance.) So, you think she is being bitchy. Then, you maybe don't do something nice for her that you might normally do, because she's been a bitch. Then, she withdraws more and complains more. Sometimes she will complain about the real issue, but most often about other things that don't really matter. So, you get more stressed, offer less affection and less effort because she's being a bitch. Etc, etc, etc.

Keeping a woman happy is like the straw that breaks the camel's back. When you neglect to do something or mess up it's like putting something on the camel's back. Mess up big, and it's a big thing. Forget to pick up your dirty socks, maybe that's just a straw. When the camel has enough stuff on its back, a straw can literally be the deal breaker. Women keep mental track of that stuff. So you have to occasionally and regularly remove some of the load off the camel's back. Stay on the maintenance of taking things off, and you won't have to deal with her getting upset and complaining unless you mess up big. (I.e. Drop a tank on the camel.)

As the man, and the head of the family, you have to take the reins. You have to be willing to swallow your pride and humble yourself for her. If you love her enough, and I think you do, you can do it. This is the hardest thing AND the most valuable lesson for men in marriage.

Start doing little things for her. Things you don't do now. Weather it's doing a chore that is hers, buying her a little something that she mentioned she wanted, write a love note, call her during the day just to say "I love you" (email works too), wash her car, go out of your way to show interested in and listen about her day (BIG ONE), etc. You have to commit to this brother. It is going to take a little time and some consistency, but it will start to take the items off of her back. This promise this will work. If she starts feeling more loved, respected, and emotionally cared for; she will start being a lot easier to deal with. That, in turn, will make you happier and make these little things easier to do, which will make her happier, which will make her easier to deal with, which will make those things more easy, which… (Much better cycle, huh?)

I’m saying this from experience. Don’t give up. You love her, and she loves you. It’s worth fighting for. You don’t have to have a ton in common when the things you do have in common are so big. (Love for your kids, and love for each other.)

This is trial by fire. You can’t have the kind of marriage that we all want without taking a few shots. Nothing valuable is easy to acquire.