Let's Talk About Sex, Baby..

“…let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…”
The one thing that I don’t think women fully understand is the true weight and power of sex. All of you are far too quick to give the one thing that gives you control in your relationships. I’ve talked about it before.
Here’s the thing. To men sex means little to nothing emotionally, initially at least. This is due to men being much less evolved in the relationship parts of our brains. We don’t naturally excel at monogamy. The mind of a man is build for shallow meaningless sex. This is why it seems that men are able to carry on “booty call” type relationships indefinitely. Women tend to find that these sorts of relationships become unfulfilling very quickly. Men often don’t need to even like you to have sex with you. I have known many women that were inclined to not have sex with a man that they found attractive because of very small incompatibilities.
The primary goal to a man when he starts a relationship is to sleep with you. He will focus primarily on this until it happens. I have a friend that carried on a “friendship” with a woman for over 3 years ONLY for the slight chance that it might turn sexual. Yeah, it’s that strong of a motivator!
So, what does that mean to you?
It means that you need to stop sleeping with men before they have had the chance to know you for more than that. Men have the ability to love and be emotional. We are fully capable of being committed to you and being very happy with monogamy. It has to be cultivated and developed through respect for you and by building you up to be more than a purely sexual object. You have to break through the shallow sexual drive into the deeper emotions that causes admiration and loyalty to grow. If you give up sex before that starts to develop then the primal part of the man’s brain is getting feed and stays dominant. There is no motivation to move past the sexual into the substantial. It’s easier to not be emotionally involved.
It’s tempting to have sex with a man too soon. You start to see a future; you give him the benefit of the doubt, believe that he is different, and hope for the best. STOP IT! Men are not like you. All men are the same initially. We are all build the same way. You have to give us a chance to be different. If you really want that, then you need to enable us to make that happen. Don’t feed the sexual caveman what he wants or he will hold down and over shadow the gentleman underneath.
Every man is different, so there is no real rule of thumb. Take the amount of time you think it should be and double it. Then, double it again. Then, double it again. Try to wait that long. Set a lofty goal. You will fall short, but you will have a much better chance that enough time has still passed to work in your favor. Don’t be so fast to give up your best tool in letting the man you’re with be the man you want to be with.